08-16-2004, 12:36
|
#1
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: LA
Posts: 1,653
|
Tips for SF Marriages
I saw a post Psywar made on another board about how to have a successful TAOR SF marriage. Thought some others might share to help out the FNGs down the road. Here a re a few off the top of my head for LATAM.
1. Her mother will be coming to live with you.
2. If she has checks, she has money.
3. The rules your brothers-in-law have regarding mistresses do not apply to you, you are a Gringo.
4. Her mother's needs take priority.
5. Christmas in LATAM runs from 15 Nov through 15 Jan and in-laws are required to stay at your house for the duration.
6. You will need two refrigerators if you want to have any beer for yourself.
7. It is the Gringo's job to ensure all the brothers-in-law are gainfully employed. You get a new job, they get a new job.
8. Teach her to drive and you have lost your POV. It will become a taxi service for the extended family.
9. If it is advertised on TV, especially at the "low, low price of...", you must order now. You will neeed a box to store all this crap after the shiney wears off.
10 Any trips requiring air travel also require the extended family to see you off or greet you, perferably in one vehicle.
__________________
Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon and he made his web gear. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home.
He knows only The Cause.
Still want to quit?
|
|
NousDefionsDoc is offline
|
|
|
08-16-2004, 16:29
|
#2
|
|
Guerrilla
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Tampa
Posts: 221
|
Re: Tips for SF Marriages
ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
#1 takes affect on 8/28. The suegra is arriving for a planned 6 month visit. I keep asking CincHouse.....are you sure she said 6 months? LOL
We do the video conference with MSN Messenger and each time this subject comes up the suegro just smiles......now all that runs through my head is him thinking......mi problemo es tu problemo..... LOL 
Last edited by FILO; 08-16-2004 at 16:41.
|
|
FILO is offline
|
|
|
08-21-2004, 13:38
|
#3
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: LA
Posts: 1,653
|
Oh, so nobody but Filo liked my thread? Well fine. 
__________________
Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon and he made his web gear. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home.
He knows only The Cause.
Still want to quit?
|
|
NousDefionsDoc is offline
|
|
|
08-21-2004, 15:05
|
#4
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 20,929
|
I was wondering why you plcaed it in the comedy forum??? 
|
|
Team Sergeant is offline
|
|
|
08-21-2004, 15:52
|
#5
|
|
Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 3,045
|
Now that I can type without laughing . . . I'd say you're outnumbered and surrounded.
My favorite is #3 
__________________
"Are you listening or just waiting to talk?"
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
"Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing."
Optimus Prime
|
|
Kyobanim is offline
|
|
|
08-21-2004, 18:08
|
#6
|
|
Area Commander
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: The Black Hills of SD
Posts: 5,944
|
Quote:
Originally posted by NousDefionsDoc
Oh, so nobody but Filo liked my thread? Well fine.
|
I liked it...Tounge in Cheek.
But following the SOP's...I'm neither SF nor Married, so I couldn't comment.
__________________
Non Sibi Sed Suis
_____________________________________________
It's Good To Be Da King !!!! Just ask NDD !!!!
|
|
Sdiver is offline
|
|
|
08-21-2004, 18:19
|
#7
|
|
Auxiliary
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: KY
Posts: 77
|
Hell that list is nothing:
Mother-in-law lives across the street and thinks she lives here
Aunt lives next store...just moved in today
Brother is a dead beat and wants to move in...HELL NO
|
|
Polar Bear is offline
|
|
|
08-21-2004, 19:04
|
#8
|
|
Guerrilla
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: between the desert and the sea
Posts: 460
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Team Sergeant
I was wondering why you plcaed it in the comedy forum???
|
LOL. that is exactly what I was also wondering, which makes it very funny.
|
|
pulque is offline
|
|
|
08-21-2004, 19:11
|
#9
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: LA
Posts: 1,653
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Polar Bear
Hell that list is nothing:
Mother-in-law lives across the street and thinks she lives here
Aunt lives next store...just moved in today
Brother is a dead beat and wants to move in...HELL NO
|
You are living "Everybody Loves raymond" Brother. LOL
__________________
Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon and he made his web gear. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home.
He knows only The Cause.
Still want to quit?
|
|
NousDefionsDoc is offline
|
|
|
08-21-2004, 19:23
|
#10
|
|
Guerrilla
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: between the desert and the sea
Posts: 460
|
Quote:
Originally posted by NousDefionsDoc
Oh, so nobody but Filo liked my thread? Well fine.
|
well, nobody responded, but that dont mean nobody heard.
probably somebody else on the internet thinks that you are funny too.
|
|
pulque is offline
|
|
|
08-23-2004, 07:52
|
#11
|
|
Guerrilla
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Tampa
Posts: 221
|
6 days and counting.......
|
|
FILO is offline
|
|
|
08-23-2004, 08:13
|
#12
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Williamston, SC
Posts: 2,018
|
In-laws ain't all bad.
My brother-in-law was a Thai policeman. I ran into a baht bus (taxi) once and the driver, seeing I was an American immediately started pointing out ten years of scrapes and dents from service in Bangkok. He figured that at the least he would get a new truck and probably get several.
When the police arrived on the scene the sgt in charge was my brother-in-law. 
Instead of a new fleet of trucks, I believe the driver spent a little time in a Thai jail.
Now, my sister-in-law was a different story, the only time she visited was on military pay days. 
|
|
QRQ 30 is offline
|
|
|
08-23-2004, 10:00
|
#13
|
|
Guerrilla
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Tampa
Posts: 221
|
Actually, I jest, I have a really good relationship with the in-laws; especially since they are a continent away. .
Unfortunately and perhaps at times a blessing, I can't get away with saying anything in English since both in-laws received their degrees in the States. It's somewhat amusing to listen to my father-in-law talk because he received his undergraduate and graduate degrees from the University of Illinois in the late 1950s and early 1960s and he still uses the American slang from that generation. Although he has a slight accent, he speaks absolutely perfect grammatically correct English with a few "Hey man" and "groovy" thrown into the mix. LOL
My wife and I have a running joke. Our relationship is very similar to the “Big Fat Greek Wedding.” I come from your typical W.A.S.P. family; you know 1.5 kids each. Whereas, a typical Sunday lunch at my in-laws in Bogotá is like Woodstock; and that’s just 1st cousins. In my side of the family you only see that many “related” people during either weddings or funerals. LOL
|
|
FILO is offline
|
|
|
08-23-2004, 17:45
|
#14
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: LA
Posts: 1,653
|
11. Watch out for "Mother is coming to help with the baby."
My suegra came the day after The Kid was born. When I finally rused her into leaving, The Kid was in the 2nd grade.
12. Your mother and your spouse do not have to speak the same language in order to attack you. They communicate somehow. Their power when on the warpath together is not added, it is multiplied then to the 10th power.
13. If you have NFL Sunday at your house and invite your buds over, you are required to invite the brother-in-laws - BTW, none of them like football (too rough - everytime there is a decent hit you get "Ooh, que barbaro!"). You are required to entertain them and translate everyword they say for any non-speakers there, especially at the critical moment of the game.
14. If you want to watch the Superbowl while you are still dating, start a fight. (I actually did this when Dallas was hot. Started a fight, Osama Bin Mama got pissed and stormed out. After the game was over, I went and find her and made nice so I could get lucky to celebrate. She didn't find out about it until about a year ago. Didn't matter, she still got pissed.)
15. DO NOT get involved in Xmas shopping for her family. There is some kind of formula that you will never understand. Just negotiate a total amount to spend, give it to her and leave the country until its over.
16. Any change of residence starts everything all over. The old rules at the old place no longer apply. Be wary of suegra incursions immediately after a move. Also, do not allow brothers-in-law to get "Just one beer for thirst" while the move is still underway. They will still be there three days later.
17. Do not go for the two for one gym memberships thinking you are going to get over. Go to a different gym. If you use the same one, you will not get to workout - its a social club for her. Plus, there will be no looking at the scenary - that will get you a 10 lb plate to the back of the head.
__________________
Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon and he made his web gear. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home.
He knows only The Cause.
Still want to quit?
|
|
NousDefionsDoc is offline
|
|
|
08-23-2004, 17:52
|
#15
|
|
Quiet Professional
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: LA
Posts: 1,653
|
18. The presence of sub-titles on American movies does not necessarily mean you will not have to explain the plot all during the movie.
__________________
Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon and he made his web gear. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home.
He knows only The Cause.
Still want to quit?
|
|
NousDefionsDoc is offline
|
|
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 00:45.
|
|
|
Linear Mode
