Marriage during Q Course?

[Scimitar]

In fact, I'll send you a $100 buck to just run away with her, let her family throw a big party for your 1st year anniversary, and you and the wife have no planning to do.

All that is required on your part, is to just show up, keep the open bar open. I'll bring something nice for the bride, maybe dance with her mom.

But that's just me, good luck.

Wet Dog, don't ever let someone tell you you're not a class act.

I always said I'd marry the first girl I found who was more hard headed then I was, and I did.

She's tough as boots but I tell you what, had I gone back into the 18X pipeline 6 months after our wedding, as planned.... (damn you knees!)

Well let's just say I am confident I would not have performed as well as I needed to, with a new bride on my arm.

There's a reason why there was a law in the Torah that a new husband wasn't allowed to go off to war in his first year of marriage... It takes that long for a new husband just to figure out he hasn't got a damn clue what he's doing.

But hey what do I know.

Scimitar

[LongWire]

Originally Posted by mhaggart

I am an 18X Candidate that is schedules for SOPC/SFAS Nov/Dec. Maybe over Christmas Exodus?

Your timeline and choices suck!!!! Which one would you prefer to be successful at given the choices that you wrote? Believe that If you make it through SFAS and suck at your wedding, you will never live it down, and will be starting off on a very very bad foot!!! That is of course unless she is truly exceptional. As others have stated, you will have opportunities to excel and take trips you never dreamt of, but at some point her enthusiasm will wane. It would suck to have that right out of the starting gate. Women are fickle, if all she has to focus on is you, what do you think she wants your focus to be on? And don't even go with the "well she said" argument......Women are fickle!!!!!

Originally Posted by mhaggart

The women there told me I may or may not. She has seen a cadre give Christmas off but she also said she has seen many candidates training through Christmas. I found that hard to believe and figured I could get some good advice talking to men who have been through something like this.

How long you have you been in service???? You find it hard to believe that you might not get exodus at a time of war???? YOU ARE NOT THINKING CLEARLY!!! PULL YOUR HEAD OUT......You are about to Suffocate!!!!!!

[x SF med]

Be careful what you choose. I gave up SF and the Army because I thought getting married to my ex-wife was what I wanted. I should have thought harder and stayed in SF. That marriage 'lasted' 17 years, but I later found out she had been cheating on me with multiple guys since before we got married.
And she got all her debt paid off and 1/2 of everything afterwards...

I miss SF every day, her... notsomuch.

Your life, your choices. SOPC/SFAS/SFQC require 115% of everything you have, so does the initial 6 months of a marriage.

[Aequitas]

You are a grown ass man that should be capable of making tough decisions by now...if not then you probably will have some issues here very soon.

I saw three guys get married during the Q....all still married....I also saw several wait...BOTTOM LINE...it's YOUR decision not someone else's.

Be careful how you react to this thread. People here have awesome amounts of experience and what not, but NONE of them know you or the characteristics of your life or relationship.

You are asking a very loaded question. Good luck in your endeavor...We all know you'll make the right decision!

[Fonzy]

Originally Posted by Snaquebite

Good advice being given....You have to make the decisions and no one can predict your future IF you make it through the course. I had been in SF for 5 years before marrying my high school sweetheart. We discussed all (I thought) the possibilities which could take place regarding me being in SF. She was cool with everything we talked about. Three months after getting married I was selected for something I just couldn't turn down. Again she supported me. Five years later and and us being together only 16 months of those five...things changed. I understood and we divorced. We're still friends but not married. I guess what I'm saying is that you can't predict everything. Your career will take you wherever the situation demands and your marriage withstands the demands of being SF or it doesn't.....or you quit.

BTW Glebo....I got THREE OLCs

Gentlemen,
I am absolutely NOT in any way a SF soldier, regardless of future aspirations. Snaquebite's statement reminded me of my own situation; I was deployed *with* my wife on the same base in the same unit. We dated for years beforehand, rarely saw each other when we were deployed, drifted apart, and eventually divorced. I cannot speak for the stresses of the pipeline, but the military alone puts enough stress on a relationship. Nothing is guaranteed - if she loves you now, she'll love you after the Q course. A few of the snuffy's in my truck have long term girlfriends and were asking me about marrying them before the upcoming deployment, I told them the same thing.

I apologize if I'm speaking out of place.

[The Reaper]

If you are not SF, review the following.

http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/...ad.php?t=22758

Let me know if the instructions are unclear to you.

TR

[turboprop]

-You are an 18x going to SOPC/SFAS in November/December, unless your career has taken some unusual turns, it hasn't even started yet.

-Since you are not actually in the Army yet, making plans for your time in the Army is not wise:

In December: You will have hopefully just been selected to continue training, you will also have just PCS'd and undergone a about 1.5-2 months of training that didn't allow a lot of family time. I don't believe the Army will move her until after SFAS, which is for the best, since you will be busy/gone and she won't know anyone. If you are injured/fail in any part of training you may be put on hold and screw up your timeline, and also score some CQ duty during Christmas Exodus. If you fail at SFAS then you may be doing details or taking leave in route to your next duty station, which may not be at Ft Bragg.

Bottom line: You came here for advice, it's up to you whether you use it/agree with it. If I were you I would wait. It will still be an awesome wedding next Christmas time (2012). I understand the bennies of being married for both of you as far as the Army goes, so doing it at the County Clerk (until the big shebang next Crhistmas) may be the best option for you, especially if she is moving to Bragg during your Q-Course. Maybe wait on changing her name till then.

You may not always be able to please everyone, and the Army often makes it very hard. If you can do right by her and yourself, pleasing her family becomes secondary.

[MTN Medic]

Originally Posted by SouthernDZ

I make a pretty mean meatloaf myself!

I spent the entire SFQC engaged but had the good sense to wait until I graduated to have the wedding. She's very understanding (but her meatloaf isn't as good as mine).

+1 and I am glad I did it. I was a Delta with long language too.

[PRB]

marriage during inter-course...nah, pass on it

[The Reaper]

Originally Posted by Scimitar

That reminds me of those African tribes, where you get married and then go to consumate and all the woman of the tribe watch just to make sure you aint lieing.

Doing in front of Mum and Aunt flow......what the hell's the deal with that!?

But I digress.

S

Do you not understand this?

http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/...ad.php?t=22758

I asked once already.

You do not post in this forum unless you have a Tab, or are asking a question. Period.

Final warning.

TR

[MVP]

This just scares me

"...she is 100% Greek and the Greek Orthodox take wedding and family to the utmost extremes."

I seriously doubt this girl will go for the SF lifestyle and neither will the family back at home who will be running you down for not being around for family events.

MVP

[1stindoor]

My .02 cents.
I planned with my wife-to-be our wedding while I was in language school following the Q course. I turned over almost every decision to her. Did it via long distance because she lived in Texas. Found out half way through the course I found out I would be deploying immediately following the wedding. Knowing I wouldn't have time to get her familarized with Ft Bragg, the commissary, the PX, DEERs, etc. I got married immediately following graduation from language school...by the Justice of the Peace in Dillon, S.C. It was just over a month prior to my "real wedding."

About 5 weeks later we drove to Texas, got married, stayed the night in Dallas, got up the next morning, drove back to NC. I left the following day. Welcome to life in SF Mrs. XXXX.

It has already been stated by others more experienced than I, but in my opinion you can plan for the course...or plan for your wedding. You can't do both.

As an aside, my CSM when I asked for leave to go get married, said this to me...
"Why do you want to go do that? I'll tell you what's going to happen, you'll get married, I'll send you down south where you'll find a new love of your life with a permanent tan and bigger boobs, you'll come home to find your wife banging every guy in division trying to earn a battle streamer, and then she'll divorce you and take half your stuff. Still want to get married?"
I said, "Yes Sergeant Major."
He said, "Well...I've done my job and gave you a safety brief....good luck to you."

[Buffalobob]

About 5 weeks later we drove to Texas, got married, stayed the night in Dallas, got up the next morning, drove back to NC. I left the following day. Welcome to life in SF Mrs. XXXX.]

I'll bet Texas was outside your pass radius.

[1stindoor]

Originally Posted by Buffalobob

I'll bet Texas was outside your pass radius.

Just a bit...and I think there's still some Highway Patrolmen in Texas, Louisiana, and maybe Georgia looking for me.

[Team Sergeant]

There is an upside to getting married while attending the Special Forces Qualification Course, if you get killed in training she collects!