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11. Watch out for "Mother is coming to help with the baby."
My suegra came the day after The Kid was born. When I finally rused her into leaving, The Kid was in the 2nd grade.
12. Your mother and your spouse do not have to speak the same language in order to attack you. They communicate somehow. Their power when on the warpath together is not added, it is multiplied then to the 10th power.
13. If you have NFL Sunday at your house and invite your buds over, you are required to invite the brother-in-laws - BTW, none of them like football (too rough - everytime there is a decent hit you get "Ooh, que barbaro!"). You are required to entertain them and translate everyword they say for any non-speakers there, especially at the critical moment of the game.
14. If you want to watch the Superbowl while you are still dating, start a fight. (I actually did this when Dallas was hot. Started a fight, Osama Bin Mama got pissed and stormed out. After the game was over, I went and find her and made nice so I could get lucky to celebrate. She didn't find out about it until about a year ago. Didn't matter, she still got pissed.)
15. DO NOT get involved in Xmas shopping for her family. There is some kind of formula that you will never understand. Just negotiate a total amount to spend, give it to her and leave the country until its over.
16. Any change of residence starts everything all over. The old rules at the old place no longer apply. Be wary of suegra incursions immediately after a move. Also, do not allow brothers-in-law to get "Just one beer for thirst" while the move is still underway. They will still be there three days later.
17. Do not go for the two for one gym memberships thinking you are going to get over. Go to a different gym. If you use the same one, you will not get to workout - its a social club for her. Plus, there will be no looking at the scenary - that will get you a 10 lb plate to the back of the head.
__________________
Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon and he made his web gear. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home.
He knows only The Cause.
Still want to quit?
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