Bumper Stickers

[Sdiver]

Bumper stickers we probably missed because we were driving so fast...

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
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Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
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It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
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If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Butt.
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You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
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The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
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I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha.
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So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
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Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
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If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
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The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
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Iliterate? Write For Help.
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Honk If Anything Falls Off.
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Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
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He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
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I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
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You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
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I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
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Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand basket?
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Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
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If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...(Seen Upside Down on a
Jeep)
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Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
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Guys: No Shirt, No Service.
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
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If Walking Is So Good For You, then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba
The Hut?
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Ax Me About Ebonics.
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Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
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Boldly Going Nowhere.
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Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That.
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Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
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Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
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How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?
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If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
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Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
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Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
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My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
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GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
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All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
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Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
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I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
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WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
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BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
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So you're a feminist... Isn't that precious.

[Sdiver]

...and here's some for the Ladies (although we guys could relate to a few of these ourselves).

SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
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GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
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COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN,...SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER
RICH.
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I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN.
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WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
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OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST
TIME.
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DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
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ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
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HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
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DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE
BODIES. (I could use that one myself)
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IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.