Bumper Stickers
 

Bumper stickers we probably missed because we were driving so fast...

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Butt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Iliterate? Write For Help.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand basket?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...(Seen Upside Down on a
Jeep)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guys: No Shirt, No Service.
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If Walking Is So Good For You, then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba
The Hut?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ax Me About Ebonics.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boldly Going Nowhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So you're a feminist... Isn't that precious.

...and here's some for the Ladies (although we guys could relate to a few of these ourselves). ;)

SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
************************************************** *****
GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
************************************************** *****
COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN,...SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER
RICH.
************************************************** *****
I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN.
************************************************** *****
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
************************************************** *****
OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST
TIME.
************************************************** *****
DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
************************************************** *****
ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
************************************************** *****
HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
************************************************** *****
DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE
BODIES. (I could use that one myself)
************************************************** *****
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.