Tips for SF Marriages
 

I saw a post Psywar made on another board about how to have a successful TAOR SF marriage. Thought some others might share to help out the FNGs down the road. Here a re a few off the top of my head for LATAM.
1. Her mother will be coming to live with you.
2. If she has checks, she has money.
3. The rules your brothers-in-law have regarding mistresses do not apply to you, you are a Gringo.
4. Her mother's needs take priority.
5. Christmas in LATAM runs from 15 Nov through 15 Jan and in-laws are required to stay at your house for the duration.
6. You will need two refrigerators if you want to have any beer for yourself.
7. It is the Gringo's job to ensure all the brothers-in-law are gainfully employed. You get a new job, they get a new job.
8. Teach her to drive and you have lost your POV. It will become a taxi service for the extended family.
9. If it is advertised on TV, especially at the "low, low price of...", you must order now. You will neeed a box to store all this crap after the shiney wears off.
10 Any trips requiring air travel also require the extended family to see you off or greet you, perferably in one vehicle.

Re: Tips for SF Marriages
 

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

#1 takes affect on 8/28. The suegra is arriving for a planned 6 month visit. I keep asking CincHouse.....are you sure she said 6 months? LOL

We do the video conference with MSN Messenger and each time this subject comes up the suegro just smiles......now all that runs through my head is him thinking......mi problemo es tu problemo..... LOL :eek:

Oh, so nobody but Filo liked my thread? Well fine.:boohoo

I was wondering why you plcaed it in the comedy forum???:D

Now that I can type without laughing . . . I'd say you're outnumbered and surrounded.

My favorite is #3 :o

I liked it...Tounge in Cheek.
But following the SOP's...I'm neither SF nor Married, so I couldn't comment.

Hell that list is nothing:

Mother-in-law lives across the street and thinks she lives here
Aunt lives next store...just moved in today
Brother is a dead beat and wants to move in...HELL NO

LOL. that is exactly what I was also wondering, which makes it very funny.

You are living "Everybody Loves raymond" Brother. LOL

well, nobody responded, but that dont mean nobody heard.

probably somebody else on the internet thinks that you are funny too. :D

6 days and counting.......

:eek:

In-laws ain't all bad.
 

My brother-in-law was a Thai policeman. I ran into a baht bus (taxi) once and the driver, seeing I was an American immediately started pointing out ten years of scrapes and dents from service in Bangkok. He figured that at the least he would get a new truck and probably get several.

When the police arrived on the scene the sgt in charge was my brother-in-law.;)

Instead of a new fleet of trucks, I believe the driver spent a little time in a Thai jail.:D :D

Now, my sister-in-law was a different story, the only time she visited was on military pay days.:(

Actually, I jest, I have a really good relationship with the in-laws; especially since they are a continent away. .:D

Unfortunately and perhaps at times a blessing, I can't get away with saying anything in English since both in-laws received their degrees in the States. It's somewhat amusing to listen to my father-in-law talk because he received his undergraduate and graduate degrees from the University of Illinois in the late 1950s and early 1960s and he still uses the American slang from that generation. Although he has a slight accent, he speaks absolutely perfect grammatically correct English with a few "Hey man" and "groovy" thrown into the mix. LOL

My wife and I have a running joke. Our relationship is very similar to the “Big Fat Greek Wedding.� I come from your typical W.A.S.P. family; you know 1.5 kids each. Whereas, a typical Sunday lunch at my in-laws in Bogotá is like Woodstock; and that’s just 1st cousins. In my side of the family you only see that many “related� people during either weddings or funerals. LOL

11. Watch out for "Mother is coming to help with the baby."
My suegra came the day after The Kid was born. When I finally rused her into leaving, The Kid was in the 2nd grade.

12. Your mother and your spouse do not have to speak the same language in order to attack you. They communicate somehow. Their power when on the warpath together is not added, it is multiplied then to the 10th power.

13. If you have NFL Sunday at your house and invite your buds over, you are required to invite the brother-in-laws - BTW, none of them like football (too rough - everytime there is a decent hit you get "Ooh, que barbaro!"). You are required to entertain them and translate everyword they say for any non-speakers there, especially at the critical moment of the game.

14. If you want to watch the Superbowl while you are still dating, start a fight. (I actually did this when Dallas was hot. Started a fight, Osama Bin Mama got pissed and stormed out. After the game was over, I went and find her and made nice so I could get lucky to celebrate. She didn't find out about it until about a year ago. Didn't matter, she still got pissed.)

15. DO NOT get involved in Xmas shopping for her family. There is some kind of formula that you will never understand. Just negotiate a total amount to spend, give it to her and leave the country until its over.

16. Any change of residence starts everything all over. The old rules at the old place no longer apply. Be wary of suegra incursions immediately after a move. Also, do not allow brothers-in-law to get "Just one beer for thirst" while the move is still underway. They will still be there three days later.

17. Do not go for the two for one gym memberships thinking you are going to get over. Go to a different gym. If you use the same one, you will not get to workout - its a social club for her. Plus, there will be no looking at the scenary - that will get you a 10 lb plate to the back of the head.

18. The presence of sub-titles on American movies does not necessarily mean you will not have to explain the plot all during the movie.

LOL I liked it too. And it's obviously original material too -- good back-up if you're looking for second career. ;)

NDD...Marriage Counsellor to the Gringo.

Hey, it sings!!

TR

laughing my ASS off, brother. (My laughter just woke up my girlfriend, who is sleeping NAKED in the bed next to me). I am just glad that I did not have a fresh dip in. I have to conserve my Cope out here. It would suck if I had to scrape it off my laptop and put it back into my mouth.

:)

keep them coming.

Here I sit in Bogotá wondering what I would do if I married one of the woman from here. Never from here in the city, the one I would marry would be from the country side. They are wise to my evil Gringo ways here.

When I finally do take her state side. I would say "lets go to the mall Honey" But actually take her to the Quick Stop and then let her shop til she drops. Turn the TV to the weather channel and loose the remote. Tell her if she learns English she will then have to serve her mandatory three years in our Military. Also for every family member she wants to bring here. I have to spend three months back in Bogotá alone, new immigration laws, the new one for one exchange law.
New washing machine would be a rock and directions to the creek. If she wants to get a Drivers license. She then makes herself eligible for the newly formed and Mandatory Border Guard Duty. Length of Duty can be up to six months, but that depends on the size of the car you drive. Think that covers it? To bad I married a Blond Gringa from California.

Damn, with my ex, I had to explain plots in movies even tho they were in English. And that's her mother tongue.

So trolling the Irish Pub in the Zona Rosa is out???

Brother, you need to come back down, we got a new place...

Mi Gusta Su Zapatos, Always works for me

LOL - that still cracks me up.

Working on it as we speak. Ollie is telling me they are opening the new CTI / DAS building this summer. I'll let you know.