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Have you looked into recoil compensator. They can make a big round recoil like small round. I have a 44 mag, that is pretty tamed, much similar in shooting a large frame revolver shooting a .38 special.
Other thought is instructions. I feel there are two kinds of felt recoil. The actual physical one and the one that intimidates the shooter and is more mental. My daughter is pretty petite and shoots about everything I own. She has no problems shooting my .45s.
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