Making time for the family...

mjbwarrior · 01-29-2013, 16:13

How do you find time for the family with the high op-tempo? For the guys married with children. I'm married with 2 kids. Just adding the additional time to train up for selection added to my work schedule and I can see the time spent with the family dwindling. Just last night my daughter had a brain fart with her math homework and the wife was getting my 10 month old ready for bed and I was just walking in the door from work and after a quick bite to eat out the door again for some land nav and ruck march... then the brain fart. I stayed and took care of my daughters math issue and it cut into my training time. Anyway, that's an example of the microcosm of the macrocosm. It happens all the time. I think my wife is more excited than I am about me going to selection and she is all for it if I get selected. No problems with her supporting me there but the time is the issue. How do you and your spouses deal with it?

alelks · 01-29-2013, 16:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjbwarrior

How do you find time for the family with the high op-tempo? For the guys married with children. I'm married with 2 kids. Just adding the additional time to train up for selection added to my work schedule and I can see the time spent with the family dwindling. Just last night my daughter had a brain fart with her math homework and the wife was getting my 10 month old ready for bed and I was just walking in the door from work and after a quick bite to eat out the door again for some land nav and ruck march... then the brain fart. I stayed and took care of my daughters math issue and it cut into my training time. Anyway, that's an example of the microcosm of the macrocosm. It happens all the time. I think my wife is more excited than I am about me going to selection and she is all for it if I get selected. No problems with her supporting me there but the time is the issue. How do you and your spouses deal with it?

Honestly, it takes a special woman/family in a marriage when you are in Special Forces. The best thing you can do is spend as much quality time with your family when you can and to make sure they are taken care of when you are not there.

There are family support groups out there and every unit has one so make sure you take advantage of it. Also make sure your wife has all the proper documentation to take care of things when you are not their such as a Power of Attorney, an updated Will etc. etc. etc. It's not for everyone and you will miss many important events in your family's life but that goes along with the territory.

mjbwarrior · 01-29-2013, 16:36

alelks...

Reading your bio I guess you and your wife figured something out because you stayed in SF quite a while. Thanks for the reply and thanks for your service.

alelks · 01-29-2013, 16:40

Correct! I've been married to my wife for over 35 years now.

mark46th · 01-29-2013, 22:14

I broke up with my girl friend when I went in the army. I went to Southeast Asia and was gone for 2 years. No problems...

And as always, the Search Button is your friend...
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/...ge+family+time

http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/...ge+family+time

Old Dog New Trick · 01-29-2013, 22:25

The key is to make every second count, because you will soon find out there are not enough minutes in the day. Everything will become a sacrifice - time spent getting nothing done or getting everything done will take its toll.

Never leave or end a night on a sour note: with the wife or the kids.

There is a high divorce rate in this line of work, if only because both sides stop trying, and it takes both sides to make it work.

Leave work at work, don't bring it home with you until you and your family are ready together to complete the mission.

Tell them little, very little of what you do day to day, just say it was a good day, now where were we?

Lighthouse · 02-01-2013, 09:45

Roger that. Previous deleted

Dozer523 · 02-01-2013, 11:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lighthouse

Great advice guys. I'd like to add if you all don't mind is . . .
. . . if you get to an ODA. Have a sit down with her and talk a bit about God and . . . . .

Actually, we do mind. Read the sticky on this thread.
And, If YOU get to an ODA then you can share your wealth of knowledge.
http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/...ad.php?t=22758
I hope you've enjoyed your first week here so far.

ZonieDiver · 02-01-2013, 11:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dozer523

Actually, we do mind. Read the sticky on this thread.
And, If YOU get to an ODA then you can share your wealth of knowledge.

I hope you've enjoyed your first week here so far.

"Stickies?!?! Stickies...!?!?! We don't need no stinking stickies!"

Hey, do we need a "Pink Font" stickey somewhere????

blue02hd · 02-01-2013, 11:25

"Men, Special Forces is a mistress. Your wives will envy her because she will have your hearts. Your wives will be jealous of her because of the power to pull you away. This mistress will show you things never before seen and experience things never before felt. She will love you, but only a little, seducing you to want more, give more, die for her. She will take you away from the ones you love, and you will hate her for it, but leave her you never will, but if you must, you will miss her, for she has a part of you that will never be returned intact.And in the end, she will leave you for a younger man."James R. Ward, OSS

Always remember, your family will be there after the Army is through with you.

Or maybe not.

mjbwarrior · 02-08-2013, 01:53

The good news is my wife is behind me on this and that means a lot to me. It helps keep my head where it needs to be and not worrying about how she feels which pulls my focus away from the goal.