SFQC and Family

Medic88 · 05-16-2012, 11:34

I have scoured and searched this site as well as others for info and have not come up with much. If I have passed over the info I seek, will gladly redirect and delete this. I am National Guard, married with a one year old. My question isn't about how much time I will get with my family. Both my wife and my self are very aware that it will be limited at best. She is in the military her self, reserve 68X (Behavioral Health Specialist) and is extremely supportive. Our question, which again has been near impossible to find (then again Im not the best with computers), is simply the logistics of it all after SFAS. Do they have supports in place to help a family PCS to FT. Bragg? Will this all fall on her as I will be busy with training? Being a family man it has been hard to try to plan all of these little logistical details into our future. Right now we are just going off of its all one step at a time and we will cross those bridges when we get there. My recruiters have been next to useless. Thank you in advance for any and all information.

Dozer523 · 05-17-2012, 06:57

At least for a while, you're really not going to be a "family man" if your beloved wants to be an SF Wife.
I know that doesn't answer the question you asked but . . .

Medic88 · 05-22-2012, 09:55

Thanks Dozer. Me and the miss's have had a lot of long talks about everything and am as prepared as we can be for the upcoming future. She supported me through a very long tough deployment, and for the last 7 months I've been a stay at home dad for our 15 month old daughter to support her starting her career in the military. I have some close family friends that are former QP's and one told me a piece of advice when I told him I was getting married and having a child. He said "no matter what wars you fight in, if you become SF or not, the hardest and greatest challenge you will ever have is to be the best father and husband you can be" (I have a feeling he wasn't the first to say this). Honestly that bit motivates me a hell of a lot to be the best I can for my wife and child. I have a hunch that a lot of the QP's on this board are great dads and husbands. I have always liked that Special Operations puts family high up, more so then I've seen in other areas of the military.

1stindoor · 05-22-2012, 10:49

After selection...if you are selected, you will be PCS'd to Bragg for the SFQC. Being dual military, will not factor into the equation...when your wife will PCS, ETS, or whatever...will be your decision. Your first priority for the next 12-24 months should be SFQC and all the other side training, i.e. language, SERE, possibly CDQC, etc.

I was never dual military, and I married after the course...but I've seen several marriages fall apart during the course...and several courses fallen during the marriage.

Medic88 · 05-22-2012, 16:01

1stindoor, this is something that my wife and I have talked about, and we have even waited to do certain things with our careers till we got some of our personal relationship issues taken care of. My wife is aware as she can that once I leave its my career then family. She understands and supports me, but lord knows that there will be bumps in the road that we will have to attend too. Instead of getting stressed over it now, we will handle them down the road. Fortunately for us (maybe) she's a behavioral health specialist and her job is to work with relationships, kinda handy actually. Also luckily right now she's only reserves so all she has to do is just switch units which is a very easy process.

Dusty · 05-22-2012, 16:56

An ideal SF wife eliminates any and all distractions from your mission focus.

fasteddie565 · 05-22-2012, 21:27

From what I have read on the Internet, SF has a very high divorce rate. How you manage your family is up to you and while they will provide funding, the how's and why's are not the Army's responsibility. When you leave and come home, no matter for SFAS or an actual op, you are rejoining her, not vice versa.

ZonieDiver · 05-23-2012, 10:03

While it doesn't exactly match up with the situation discussed here, I found this part of the movie "Apocalypse Now" appropriate to being in SF:

Ret10Echo · 08-21-2012, 07:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by fasteddie565

When you leave and come home, no matter for SFAS or an actual op, you are rejoining her, not vice versa.

Nice point. In the "home-life reality" it's easy to think that time stops when you head downrange.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dusty
An ideal SF wife eliminates any and all distractions from your mission focus.

Yes... We had some good stories to exchange upon "reunification". I recall something about chiseling the ice from around the car tires to take our newborn to a doctor's appointment.