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Islamic Cell Busted in NYC
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered
to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight
while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide
rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said
he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement.
He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math
instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in
a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x'
and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have
determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of
medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer
Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God
had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would
have given us more fingers and toes."
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Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimal food or water, in austere conditions, training day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon and he made his web gear. He doesn't worry about what workout to do - his ruck weighs what it weighs, his runs end when the enemy stops chasing him. This True Believer is not concerned about 'how hard it is;' he knows either he wins or dies. He doesn't go home at 17:00, he is home.
He knows only The Cause.
Still want to quit?
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