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A suggestion or two as you sound serious about this.
What you are doing is learning/practicing a martial art...think about it in that manner.
Presently you are learning mechanical and motor skills/co ordination....that is kata, the basic moves properly applied.
Most never get beyond that phase. They can be good shots but that is not what you are seeking.
The mental attitude and projection that makes one a warrior is as, if not more, important. Many in SF call it being 'switched on' and that is a guy who can go from casual conversation and at ease into serious killing mode immediately....because he has internalized the attitude....I could give you examples and in essence that is what edge a small ODA has over larger units.
The 'mode' is precise/controlled/lethal and instantaneous if the individual is mentally prepared.......this is what good team training results in.
Not easily acquired in your situation but not impossible either.
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