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The potential recipients of your rounds vary so much, that the largest caliber you can accurately deliver to the target is the one I would choose...and now have chosen, a 45 ACP (HK of course). A 38+P JHP Speer has done the job for me, decades ago, with the assistance of a partner with like rounds. Was that my choice of caliber..no. Dept policy dictated at that time. Have seen head shots, social shootings, who have tipped over only to get up and continue the social conflict until separated by us peace keepers.
The point is that a stopping/killing shot delivered,in your home, to a criminal is such a crap shoot because of the wide range of the target's ability to handle the shot. Clothing, substance influence, physical characteristics and just plain toughness are just some of the influences as to how a target will fall. With that in mind, a 9mm doesn't do it.
As for the pistol of choice...why choose one that can prefers to be dry, a bit dirty, wet...get one that doesn't care, just runs and is, as they say, is "drop dead reliable", regardless what is costs. Research and comments by the QPs will guide you.
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