[3SoldierDad]

I'm a father of five with three kids in the army - one has just become a candidate for Special Forces training and is at CLT now.

I’d be interested in interacting with other parents via this forum on our sons’ activities and progress.

I’d like to give you all a thumbnail on my son, Jon, who chose to become an 18 X-Ray last September. This is his story - However, I'd be interested in getting the play-by-play from some of you other parents and family members on your own sons experience through the pipeline, the Q-course, and onto their team. I don't know much, but I've read perhaps a dozen books on SF and have trolled long and hard on the net for the best information on the SF journey. To help you - this site is the quintessential source for learning about and understanding the SF community - including the journey your sons have just begun.

If there are any parents out there that want to reach out to another parent with a son on the same journey feel free to private message me.

Here's a Cliff Notes version on one SF candidate's story...

My kids grew-up in a very conservative home. We are evangelical Christians - we did home-school, home-church, and for years we never had a television in the home – Jon was born in Costa Rica in 1985 while my wife and I were self-supported missionaries down there. We were from a Plymouth Brethren background, and until 2003 I was a pacifist. We have Veterans in the family, but we were not in anyway military. Others have noted, however, we have a kind of warrior ethos in our home – I’m Irish-American, was a fighter as a kid, and was captain of my high school’s wrestling team - And, as a Dad I ran "a tight ship." We are a competitive family - all of us make commitments with our whole heart…My wife and I are centered on the principal of what matters is what we do – I think that has somehow translated to the kids. Nevertheless, I really had nothing overt to do with getting my sons to go Army.

My first son in the military was Ben two years ago - he’s 24 now. My third son, Mike, was the second to join and he did so right after he turned 17 (He was just deployed to Iraq as a combat medic). Jon was the last and is really the most unique guy among all my kids. He’s scary smart – ASVAB 99, GT 142, DLAB 135, 167 IQ and VERY independent - totally alpha male. He rubs a lot of people wrong, is easily misunderstood, and by all accounts until I saw him after selection has always been a smart-ass…As you will hear later, he has changed a lot. Prior to joining-up Jon did a couple years in College, had a couple short-lived girl-friends, and started working – He felt like his world was without any challenge, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, he was wandering in circles and admitted his life seemed without purpose – from 18 years-old to right before he joined-up Jon became grouchier and grouchier – He was like a caged lion looking for something to devour. The suburban life can be tough on boys who are yearning to be a knight for our times and slay dragons. I’m reminded of a quote I saw here at PS a week or so back…

"It has been my experience that superior people are attracted only by challenge. By setting our standards low and making our life soft, we have, quite automatically, and unconsciously, assured ourselves of mediocre people." - from The Ugly American .

Jon had little respect for what he saw going on with himself and his peers – As he told me he felt himself going soft, like his life was in a rut – He said, he saw himself and his peers “as punks.” Meanwhile, my other two sons were encouraging him to check out the Army. Both boys had done well on their entrance tests, and they told the recruiter that he hadn’t even met their "smart brother." The recruiter was a bit incredulous, and told my sons he didn’t believe they had a smarter brother – certainly not a better rounded brother. Jon’s very competitive - His brothers related the recruiter’s doubts about him. Somewhat on a dare, Jon went in and took the ASVAB – When the results came back the recruiter said Jon’s scores were “off the charts” and among the highest he had seen in a long while. At the urging of his brothers, Jon sat down with the recruiter to explore possibilities. He asked Jon what he wanted to do - The recruiter said with his scores he could do whatever he wanted. Jon inquired, “What does the Army need and who are the best?” The recruiter said “The best are the Army’s Special Forces - The Green Beret.” The recruiter said they were “the tip of the spear on the war on terror.” He cautioned Jon that intelligence wasn’t enough, however – The recruiter related how he himself had endeavored to make SF and had voluntarily withdrawn. He said, “Special Forces is called 'special' because it is for special men only" – He said, "You can’t test in." You have to earn it – and even then you can fail" – he added for emphasis - "And, most fail.” The recruiter said he could give him any job except the Special Forces job, but he did say he could get Jon a shot at getting selected for Special Forces with an 18x contract.

Well, that was the challenge Jon needed. He didn’t want to be a part of a club that would take just anyone. And, he wanted to go where he was needed - where he could be the best with the best - where he could be the tip of the spear.

Part II - OSUT/Airborne/SOPC/SFAS ...From suburban punk to changed man.


Three Soldier Dad...Chuck