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Originally Posted by frostfire
How you make "them" comfortable w/ the position and concept?
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The rest of this thread is far out of my knowledge, but this particular query I would like to address from the other side. As most of you know, I am a complete noobie to martial arts, having only started late last year. So the whole "comfort" question is something I have recent experience with.
So, I started Gracie BJJ a few months ago.
I knew going into it that there weren't many women learning, although I didn't at the time realise how few there actually were. I later found out I am one of only 3 women in the entire class. Since most of the time we miss each other (different class times), I think I've only been able to train against another woman maybe 3 times so far. So 99% of the time, my sparring partner is male. Yes, it was scary to walk alone into a class full of strange group of men on that first night. So what? I took a leaf out of the XY manual for it. I ignored it.
Worked like a charm.
It was made easier by the fact that the men were all polite and respectful, but as I found out later that wasn't a special effort for me, that's just the way the class is run. About the only thing they changed (as far as I am aware) was to clean up the language a little... Remind me to tell you the story about the "north-south" position one day.
I knew going in I might be initially uncomfortable. It was just something I had to deal with if I wanted to have the benefit of the class. I imagine most woman beginning that first day training feel similar. Big deal. They're grown-ups, they can deal with it.
Personally I'm there to learn a skill. I see the fact that I'm always matched against men who are taller, heavier and stronger than I am a bonus, not a detriment. Sparring with a male teaches me how to defend against a male, and also gets me somewhat used to the level of force a male uses (obviously only to a point).
The only thing I thought about when getting into the positions with a partner I had only met that night was that I was lucky I didn't have the sensitive bits you guys have to worry about, and to watch where my knees were going so I didn't make them cry (accidently, anyway).
Otherwise I was concentrating so hard on the moves nothing else impinged. Once I started sparring I didn't have time to think about being uncomfortable, I was too busy being thrown around....
I find the other women in the class to be similar in attitude. I don't request or expect special attention. If I get hurt, which I do every time (I always come home sporting enough technicolour bruises I look like a battered woman) I do exactly what the men do. I ignore it unless I'm bragging about it.
Anyway, my point is, apart from some basic stuff such as being polite and respectful, I don't see that an instructor should have to change their classes to "cater" for women. That phrase usually means "dumbing down" things because people don't believe women can handle it. In fact the reason for me moving from Hapkido to BJJ was specifically due to my Hapkido instructor beginning to structure his classes like an aerobics class. Idiot!