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Warning Labels
WARNING LABELS
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods On a Sears' hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details Inside." (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be... how?) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it's just a suggestion!) On a hotel-provided shower cap box: "Fits one head." (?!) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on the bottom of the box): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (You think?) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't that save time?) On Boot's Children's cough medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5-year-olds off forklifts!) On Nytol sleep aid: "Warning: may cause drowsiness." (One would hope!) On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: keep out of children." (What's for dinner?!) On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to outer space or underground?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." Hmmmm, now I'm curious?) On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (No comment) On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts." (What is going on here?) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (As if you would try to stop anything with your genitals) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Way to destroy a universal childhood fantasy!) |
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