Daddy's Ten Rules
 

What with Father's Day being recently celebrated, I thought I'd copy this from the "Teamhouse" page:

printed, laminated and duct taped to the front door. Thank you.

LOL

I'm glad I just have boys!

LOL:p

Good list! I, too, am thankful that I have a son.

Great list!


I have seen it before with one more added to it:

11. If for any reason you make my daughter cry. I will make you cry.

Re: Daddy's Ten Rules
 

While working as a construction superintendent, building elementary schools...this was a quick way to get your ass fired!

I, too, am thankful to have sons. The parents of my nieces will all be given copies, however. I have also given my older son a copy and assured him there is a Dad behind every door and a shotgun being cleaned in every living room. :eek: :D

Re: Re: Daddy's Ten Rules
 

I want to work for Guy! Sounds like fun.

Re: Re: Re: Daddy's Ten Rules
 

I mentioned in another thread that I want to be his secetary when he becomes POTUS. There would never be a dull day, that is certain. :D

A pic of the first project....
 

I was promoted to superintendent on...

http://image.pegs.com/images/EA/2685/2685_b1.jpg
I inherited this project 3/4 of the way thru and behind schedule.

StudioPlus Cross Creek Mall
4105 Sycamore Dairy Road
Fayetteville, North Carolina United States 28303

I hired a Korean War Vet to handle all the trades and a E-7(Ret) to handle all the labor.:D

Re: A pic of the first project....
 

The greatest thing about working construction, IMO, is that you can go back years later, see what you helped build, and see that it is still there.

Having a daughter is gods revenge on dads for being teenage boys at one time in their life.

Glad I got boys. My son gets to worry about the grand daughter.

My son just turned 14. I'm printing a copy of that for him now.

Honestly, it's all about respect. I pray that I have raised him well. So far, that appears to be the case. :)

Re: A pic of the first project....
 

Guy! That's Fantastic!!! Small problem here, your ruining my image of SF guys, I thought all you did was break stuff.

Luckily I never had to invoke the rules. My daughter, 27 now, was the youngest. All three were in HS together and her two older brothers were her protectors. The poor girl had no real boy friends in HS -- everyone was afraid of her brothers. She had what I thought was an attractive dress for the prom and when my sons saw it they said: "OH NO!! Tou aren't wearing that outside of the house." I actually had to intervene.

She is now engaged to a zoomie, of all things.:p

Re: Re: A pic of the first project....
 

Obviously, I failed to show you the significant portion of the 18C course dedicated to building and maintaining things.

TR

My sincere condolences. :D

I have 3 yr old twins, one boy and one girl and I am raising my son to watch after his sister :D. My daughter on the other hand is already breaking 3 yr old hearts and I am getting grey hairs by the minute with her as she is fearless....:O

A pic of the first project....
 

We can tear up shit when necessary...have no doubt about that!

Get us downtown Baghdad with the right assets and I'm telling you....

We would put together a security force that would protect/control the....

Schools...medical facilities...businesses...etc! It's all about the "hearts and minds"! ;)

They just need to let us OPERATE!

Ha Ha Ha twins!

I guess it could be worse, they could both be 3 year old girls!

I have two boys and a daughter for which I am very greatful. I established only two rules for marrying my daughter which I put into effect the day she brought that scum sucking snow pimp home to meet the parents. The first rule was easy, he had to ask for her hand in marriage. The second rule was also easy and was relayed to him when he summoned up the guts to seek our blessing for marriage. It was one simple, well meaning, and heartfelt statement: "My daughter is my daughter no matter what name she adopts and if you do anything to hurt her I will reach down your throat and rip out your liver".

Jack Moroney

You guys are killing me. LMAOROTF

QRQ 30 - Thanks for posting that !!
Brought back memories of my step-father. In the days before motion detectors in the driveway, it was amazing how fast he turned on the driveway floodlights every time I was brought home from a date. Sweet good-night kisses ? Forget it ! I am surprised my dates still had transmissions left - they all seemed to throw it into reverse before the wheels stopped forward motion in the driveway !!


TS - My daughter turned 18 in May. I would love to have a conversation with you in 15 years when your girls turn 18. Actually, let's talk during that 14 - 15 year old age range ! LOL (Before I was married, I worked at a residential treatment center for 'problem' girls. After I married and became pregnant, I had a hard time agreeing on a girl's name for the baby. All the names my husband liked reminded me of 'problem girls' at the center !).

Roycroft201

Re: A pic of the first project....
 

I agree! History shows that whenever SF is used well, success follows.

You would have been in tears!
 

I tried to kick my 18y/o daughters' boyfriend in the face!

I go to pick her up XMAS eve at her boyfriends' place, walk in the house and my daughter introduces us...this lil MFer is sitting on the couch with his pants hanging off his ass, watching TV and says to me...

"YO, YO...what's up bro"!

By the time I crossed the living room, my right foot was in the air heading for his head/face. My EX and daughter grabbed me just before the point of impact...throwing me off balance. So I missed contact...DAMN!

My pistol comes tumbling out on to the floor. That is one reason you will never see me with out a belt on!;) Now everyone freezes and are staring at the pistol lying on the floor. I simply pick it up and say to the kid...

"Grown men don't even speak to me that way...I'll be damned to hell, if some punk ass, pants dragging ass kid will"!

Did this young gentleman get the message?

Pretty much...
 

Almost like when you have a bunch of FOGs' sitting at table talking....I just usually STFU and listen!:D

Remember the movie;

“Meet the Parents”? Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller.
[Plot Outline: Male nurse Greg Focker meets his girlfriend's parents before proposing, but her suspicious father is every date's worst nightmare.]

I didn’t realize it was a comedy.

I’m a man of the nineties, 1890 to be exact. I figure I have 13 years to prepare myself mentally, physically and in procuring the proper armaments. With proper back planning it just might be enough time. My desire is to meet and greet my daughters would-be boyfriends and within minutes instill such an abnormal level of terror that they will require psychological rehabilitation for the rest of their lives.

Guy, great story.

TS

I'd pay to see that! LMAO

Absolutely. Several things used to work for me depending on what the target audience was. Sitting in plain view cleaning a firearm or sharpening a large knife was effective as was casually walking out to check out the car and providing instructions as necessary on what needed to be corrected before she even got into it. :D

Jack Moroney

Best job of boyfriend intimidation I ever saw was Remo, for those who know him.

Boyfriend/victim rolled up outside his quarters and tooted the horn for her.

That was the signal to commence what was probably the most terrifying 20 minutes of his life.

I would have paid money to watch what happened.

TR

Sir, would you please share the story?

TS,

My father-in-law used to write said punk's name on shotgun shells. When the punk came over to pick up his daughter first thing he would show the kid was his gun cabinet, with his name written on a shotgun shell.

Ruthless, I like it.

I was thinking more along the lines of revealing to him the satellite photographs of where he currently lives and his signed confession stating that he was the man on the “grassy noll.”

TS

Joe:

Better if you knew him.

Black LTC at the time (now a retired BG), 6' 2" 260 or so, former body builder and professional boxer (was still boxing at that time), trained with Bonecrusher Smith.

Hip hop from car stereo heard inside the house anounces arrival, kid blows the horn, daughter comes running downstairs.

Remo sends the daughter back upstairs till he calls for her and goes out to meet the caller.

Saunters out with no shirt and leans heavily on the car by the driver, sitting it down a bit on the springs and asks him to turn his stereo down and if he can be of any assistance.

Kid mumbles that he is there to pick up Remo's daughter.

Remo asks him who he thinks he is, says I don't think so, and explains to him the proper protocol.

Makes the kid drive out of sight and come back to do it properly, by which point he is back in the house waiting.

Kid rings the doorbell, girl comes downstairs again, gets sent back up.

Remo opens the door and explains that she is not quite ready yet, come on in and have a seat.

Kid sits down, starts eyeballing all of the SF memorabilia on the walls, and the boxing trophies.

Remo ignores the kid, and asks me if I know where he can get a 75 round drum for an AK. Five minute gun/shooting/killing conversation ensues, IIRC culminating with some sort of show and tell with the AK, where he explains that there is no paper trail on the weapon, just in case he has to use it locally. Delivers short story about being the leader of a street gang in his home town (which is a little burg in Mississippi which happens to share the name of a large Eastern city, but fails to mention that).

Kid gets asked about whether he has ever killed a man, been in a gang, used drugs or alcohol, etc., answers all in the negative. Asked if he has ever been in trouble, followed by the "where are you planning to take my daughter", "who will be there", "how long you will be", etc.

Gets the answers generally right, so Remo excuses himself goes and checks on daughter, and tells her to come on down in a few minutes.

Sweats the kid for a few more minutes with questions about school, sports, etc., then releases them when the daughter appears with the usual pleasantries, but tapping the guy one the shoulder while his daughter is walking out the front door and giving him a big evil smile and a wink.

I think she was back home before we left.

TR

Thank you sir, that is great.

I would pay good money to see that.

after their first week of preschool our nanny came home and told me that she thinks one of our daughters had a "boyfriend" already.... an older boy of 4 1/2 who would push her around on a bicycle for two and hold her hand outside at playtime....

I don't think the team sergeant has as much time as he is hoping for but he has artfully avoided any playdates with the little boy over the summer...lol.

doc t.

Keeping track of this over the next decade or so would make a great movie. You should sell the rights.

APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
 

APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER



Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history,
lineage, and current medical report from your physician.
Name:________________________ Date of Birth:_________________
Height:_________ Weight:__________ IQ:_________ GPA:__________
Social Security #:___________ Driver's License #: Number:_______
Boy Scout Rank:_________________ Telephone:___________________
Home Address:__________________________________________ ____
City:__________________________ State:__________ Zip:___________

1. Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:

2. Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers or sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____

3. Do you own or have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____

4. Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____

5. Do you have a tattoo? ____

If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue
application and leave immediately.
6. In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?

7. In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter
mean to you?

8. In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?

9. In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?

10. Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________
How often do you attend: ____________________________
11. When would be the best time to interview your mother, father
and priest/rabbi?__________________________

12. Please fill in the blanks:

a. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want
wounded would be my ____________________________
b. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would
be my_____________________________

c. A woman's place is in the ____________________________
d. The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is
______________________________

e. When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her
first is______________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave
premises--keeping your head low and running in a serpentine
fashion is advised.
13. What do you want to be if you grow up?



I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of
my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment,
torture or mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________
Signature of father _____________________________________
Signature of mother ____________________________________
Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________
Signature of State Representative _________________________


Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual.

Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in
writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't
call me, I'll call you.

Printed and posted on fridge. :D

Nice post.